Teaching a Man to Fish

It is said that if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. As deacons, you are fishermen. You know what it is to walk in the knowledge and grace and truth of God - to live in His presence. That is why the scripture says not to call a new convert to be a deacon or elder, because they are not mature in their faith and will become arrogant and unable to "fish for themselves."
Since you are walking with the Lord, you can help others to do so as well. This is your calling. You are not expected, nor is it helpful, to solve people's problems for them. God has brought or allowed this hardship in their lives. If He wanted you to toil over it, He would have given the burden to you. Your calling is to come alongside those who are struggling and ask questions, offer counsel and prayer support, and guide them in what is right. The plan is to help them to develop a healthy way of dealing with trials and train them to walk with God.
What we strive for is to nurture a healthy dependence on God, not on us as ministers. We need to help them to ask the right questions, to begin to see their issues in a biblical light - to train them to see their life and experiences through the lens of scripture instead of the other way around. You do not have to have all the answers, nor do you need to sacrifice yourself on the alter of service. You simply need to care about the individual and teach them to "follow your example as you follow the example of Christ."